Hiro is freaking annoying.
After you left the bar today he spent way too much time scolding me because apparently I don’t communicate well or some sort of crap like that. Who knows? All I’m sure about is that it ticked me off.
He kept bringing up the fact that if I didn’t tell you how I really felt, then you’d leave me for some other guy. I don’t believe him at all, obviously. Because there isn’t another guy who’d want you besides me. I’m the only one who can put up with you.
Well, you’re the kind of type to believe in that kind of stuff, so in case Hiro starts putting ideas into your head and we get into a fight, which would be a pain in my ass, I’m going to write to you how I feel, alright?
Don’t you dare laugh.
So, when I first met you - I’m not going to lie - you irritated me. Now don’t come whining to me later that I’m mean or whatever, because it’s true. Not only did you take the last bowl of pork noodles, but you also tried to offer me your half-eaten bowl of food like I was some dog eating your scraps. Besides, I had a feeling you weren’t too fond of me either at first.
I found myself even more irked when you picked me to babysit you. Back then it was like an extra chore - one that I had no interest in whatsoever.
Something changed though.
I don’t know how or when, all I know is that at some point, being with you wasn’t a pain anymore. It was just… Natural, I guess.
There’s something about you, but since normally I’m the type of guy to use words like ugly and stupid, I’m not quite sure how to put it into a single word about just what it is about you.
You’re a klutz and you’re forgetful and sometimes I really do believe your brain is the size of a walnut. But that’s not all I think about you. or notice.
Your eyes always light up when you see art, like a little kid looking at the window of a candy store. You even sound excited when you talk about it. It was pretty hard not getting swept up into that passion that you always have whenever we go to a museum or look at those art books lining your shelf.
You’re easy to tease. It never took much for me to get a big reaction out of you. You would stutter as your cheeks lit up, flooding with a rosy color. You tease me back most of the time, or at least you try to. It’s kind of cu… Nevermind.
I turned into such a worry wart after meeting you. I’ve never been so worked up over anyone in my life time as I get about you. I can’t even stand leaving your house without making sure you’re safe and the house is locked. Every time I’m away from you is just ends up pissing me off and I couldn’t even tell you why. All I know is that I don’t like it.
I can’t help it.
I just can’t stop thinking about you. You’re all that’s ever on my mind these days.
I want to be with you.
I want to see that idiotic grin spread across your lips when you’re happy. I want to protect you when you’re scared and shaking. I want to be the one to make you feel better when you’re upset and you’re being a crybaby. I want to see that sparkle in your eyes and hear your cheerful laughter when you’re excited. I want to hold you in my arms and use that soft body of yours as a body pillow. I want to keep you in my bed for as long as I can get away with. I want to feel your warmth and kiss your lips and cheeks and eyelids and neck and shoulders and collar bones and every last inch of you.
Ugh, I sound pathetic.
But I mean it. It has to be me for you too, alright? Not Riki, Hiro, Boss, Kenshi, Mitsuru or Togoshi. Just me.
After writing this, I’m not holding back anymore. So you better not try getting away from me tonight. Or ever.
Why is this so hard to get out even on paper!?
I’m just gonna write it.
I love you.
There. I got it out. Now you know my feelings.
P.S. If you tell or show anyone this, I’m going to make sure to get back at you.